March 24th, 2012 - The Corridors go truly international
A
little out of order perhaps, I still haven't turned in the match report
from the Foam of Muppets C.C. vs Corridors game, but those of you
following our tour will probably be more interested to know the outcome
of yesterday's game between the South American Champions, that's Chile,
and the world famous Corridor Cricket Club. And to be honest with you,
it really is worth knowing about.
At 4.35 am on
the morning of the game the Dors were woken, not by the sweet smell of
eight men sleeping in a dorm together, but by the largest earthquake
since the rather more infamous quake that trapped 33 Chilean miners
underground for 69 days...5.3 on the Richter Scale allegedly. And I'm
here to tell you, as Richie Benaud might say, that lying in the darkness
while the solid, old colonial building you're sleeping in bangs and
shudders around you is a frightening enough experience if you're above
ground. God only knows what terrors those men went through. The Lump was
so shaken that he went outside to the bar which, mercifully, was still
open.
Ah, yes. The Lump. Rarely has a natural
phenomenon proved so prophetic for just a few hours later that same man
was to shake up Chile in a quite different way.
With
the Dors in full fig and all aboard Sergio's fun bus it was off to the
former school ground at Craighouse outside Santiago. You really couldn't
find a more perfect setting to encapsulate the fact that the Corridor
Cricket Club was about to take on the whole country. The country's
iconic mountain range, the Andes, stood on three sides of the ground and
most of us spent a few minutes just wandering around taking in the
scenery. The Chilterns pale in comparison to these old, old mountains
stretching off one behind another in shades of browns and purples into
the distance. Wonderful. The pitch itself was a different matter. In
these parts of the world cricketers have to fight not just to bring new
players on and to keep the game they love from withering on South
American vines, Carmenere probably, but also to keep the few pitches
they have in decent order. Craighous School had, quite recently, sold
the ground and the water rights that go with it. Consequently a pitch
that had been lush and true only months before for the South American
Championships was now a parched field with a dry and broken wicket. But
they are nothing if not resourceful in this part of the world and Heaven
and, literally earth were moved to install an artificial strip in time
for our game at no small cost. For this alone we will be eternally
grateful and teams looking to tour here should not underestimate the
friendliness of the hosts.
And so for the last
time on tour the Skipper went out to spin silver against an azure sky.
Umpire Ian 'Fuzzy' Walker, without whom this mad enterprise would never
have come about, flicked Chilean legal tender from his thumb and Mallard
called 'heads'. Just for once the Gods of tossing were on his side and
the Corridor's own El Capitan decided to bowl. It so nearly paid
dividends. Behlly and Mars opened from either end and sharper hands from
the slip cordon might have put Behlly in the Great Book in the first
over. The Dors were left to rue the chance as Johnny Bensted went on to
craft an imperious 72. Bensted and Last devoured any bad balls to set
the scoreboard spinning with the legside boundary in particular taking a
pounding. Equally they were respectful of anything decent, preferring
to block rather than swish at everything that came their way. Messrs
Behl and York toiled in the sun with several chances but no reward and
so on came the Swiss Torpedo and the Smurf. Both bowlers wheeled under
Chilean skies and again there were chances but the vital breakthrough
just would not come.
And so, not for the first
time, the Skipper threw the ball to Strachan. 'Cometh the hour, cometh
the Lump' as we have said before and who knows what was going through the
Lump's mind at that moment. He had certainly been adamant before the
tour, and in the lead up to this game, that he would get a bowl. He
might even have thought that that would be enough, to see his name down
in the scorebook against a whole nation. That was certainly the driving
motivational force behind so many of us being here in the first place
and the Corridors most lethal bowler seized his chance with both
hands...it's the way he bowls. Described by the umpire as 'right arm,
weird with 6 Lumps to come' Lumpy came on to bowl and almost immediately cleaned up Bensted,
shattering his stumps and when I say shattered I mean it. Middle stump,
broken in two at the base. Incredible scenes Jeff. The Dors went wild,
the Lump went feral bellowing his victory to the surrounding mountains.
It's the kind of moment, a condor moment if you will, that really needs
to be captured on film...oh, hang on, it was! And Lumpy wasn't finished,
not by a long way. The other opener, Last, came out of his crease to
take a heave at the Lump, who by now was putting it on a Chilean
sixpence, missed, and was stumped by the quick claws of the Crab. Have I
told you how superb the crusty one has been on tour...no...well I think
I just did. Razor sharp behind the wicket, except for the very odd
lapse, Tim Davis has been a stalwart behind the timbers all tour, no
mean feat when you consider how much work he's had to do with such a
crowded fixture list. So Last was dispatched for a well made 110 which
only brought Simon Shalderes to the crease. And now, dear reader, I'd
like you to bear in mind that this is the man who scored 190 against
Peru and is something of a legend on this continent. He also runs La
Casa Roja, the rather excellent hostel with the swim up bar and the
cricket net. A top man. But the Lump has never cared for reputation and
giant killer that he is, brought this cricketing behemoth back down to
earth. Clean bowled. For 8. That's the beauty of the Lump. You think you
can play him. You can certainly pick him but somehow, unaccountably,
you're out. And you have to go and unpick you're sorry innings before
your surpised team mates. Lumpy, meanwhile, carries on with little
thought for his victims...except the next one that is. And the next one
just happened to be Signor Fecci who decided, as so many have done to
their cost, to go after the Lump and manged to pick out the lurking Torpedo under a tree on the boundary. Four wickets for Lumpy. Four
international wickets for the Lump. Just ponder that for a moment.
Neither Mars nor Behlly, Swiss nor Smurf, the Skip nor Barbarossa or
even Forge, who can pick up the odd trophy from time to time, were able
to penetrate the Chilean defences. But the Lump could. Four times ladies
and gentlemen.
After that Skipper Williams
retired on 29, probably trying to avoid becoming Lumpy's fifth scalp,
and Chris Emmott and a Signor Perryman bludgeoned a few more runs off
the returning Mars and Behlly. It's a great shame that neither bowler
was able to ink their names into the book but, as Lee will tell you,
that's cricket.
Chile 314 for 4
The Corridors had not disgraced themselves with the ball against an entire country. What could they do with the bat?
The
Chileans treated us to what amounts to their haka which Postins knows
intimately having been in the middle of one during the Football World
Cup in France and it is quite a thing. The Corridors sang the Corridor
song. Which is not. But Mars and Russ donned their team colours and
strode out to bat with their team mates adulation ringing in their ears.
It must have had some effect as both batsmen laid in to the Chilean
attack with gusto...a bit like Bisto but with a hint of lemon. Mars
attacked anything on his legs swatting boundaries as if they were flies
to wanton boys and threw in the odd big boundary too. Russ played a
typically laconic innings with his customary elan and was looking good
for a big score when he was adjudged LBW by the Fuzz off the bowling of
Anurag for 11. He took it on the chin as per. Dawse, in at three, got an
absolute snorter from the same bowler which is not what you would want
playing your first full international, but even Graham Gooch got a King
pair in his first test and he didn't fare too badly thereafter. Paulo,
at four, became the bowlers third wicket, again adjudged LBW. Harsh?
Fair? Out either way for 5. Forge, elevated to 5, decided to go on the
attack and, in his Trottesque manner, played some magnificent shots off
his ankles hitting legside boundaries in cavalier style and in tandem
with the free hitting Mars. The burly vice captain had eased his way to
46, and we were all waiting with bated breath for the half century, when
the worst happened. Mars got a leg stump full toss and put it straight down
midwicket's throat. Not literally of course, but it certainly went
straight into his hands as if it lived there - typical that it happened to be Chile's best fielder, too.
Passing the incoming
Skipper the big lad aoplogised. He has nothing to apologise for. This
tour is a testament to Mars' ability to take on a big project whilst
holding down a time consuming job and maintaining a meaningful
relationship. We have much to thank him for and his 46 was a reminder of
the returning power of this legendary Dors batsman.
The Skip,
meanwhile, was hoping not to get out for a duck which, for a Mallard, is
a surprisingly easy thing to do. But, in partnership with Forgey, he
did better than that...so much better. Watching the first few balls he
began to score ones and twos and, with the duck safely out of the way,
began to find his range. Forge, at the other end was really going after
it as well and together the pair lifted an already decent Dors score to
new heights, enjoying every moment at the crease.
With Dors on the
boundary willing him on, Mallard cut, pulled and drove the oppsition
bolwers around the field. Ignoring their umbrella slips he took on the
young tyros and, unbelievably, drove one through the hands of mid on to
post the boundary that brought up his 50. To take off one's cap, raise
one's bat and take in the cheers from the boundary is a special moment.
To do it here, on tour, against Chile, with the best group of tourists
you could wish for, was the sweetest feeling in the world. At the other
end, Forge was eventually cleaned out by Hans Cerpa but not before
scoring a meaty 36. Swiss Tony entered the fray and immediately carried
on where Forge had left off, creaming boundaries for 23 before being
LBW trying to up an already uppity run rate. Not enough to threaten the
Chilean score of course, but more than enough to have the Dors buzzing
at their best score on tour, in fact one of their best ever.
The Smurf
then smurfed a few runs in his smurfy way before being caught for 8 and
then the mighty Kung Fu Panda was sent out for the last ball of the
game. One ball, one chance for glory. Unfair really and even more unfair
is KP's self admosnishment for having a swipe at the ball and being
clean bowled for a golden duck. Ridiculous. The Panda is the icon of the
team. A one man metaphor. No one has worked harder to be here, playing
international cricket, than the Panda. He is the team mascot and
represents everything that this tour is about. Taking on the odds, and
having a go. If you lose, so what. You were there. And yesterday, we
were there.
'Wow!' as the fiery Babylon might say.
DM
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